this is not a longing
of the painful and delicious kind
when love and pain combine
"why are you not mine"
a longing can be turned
to a word, a song, a breath
heard by trees and winds and seas
but this here feels like death
I have a heavy rock
placed instead of heart and gut
pulls my chin, breaks my breath
I'm aching for a cut
My thoughts and dreams were turned
within your twisted truth
you promised me a home to rest
then took it all, no ruth
I was a solid dreamer
no pain could break my hope
though rock you've placed into my heart
has snapped all safety ropes
I never thought I'll walk this path
in fear and pain and horror
all things I took as good and true
I've laid them down in sorrow
How can I ever love again
when all the wells have died
and all the sparks I kept in care
were lost in darkest night
they say I dodged the bullet
no tear be shed for ridding well
spoiled milk that spilled ruthlessly
and brought a taste of hell
the man I loved is poisonous
a toxic blend of charm and ill
a mute to truth and numb to touch
my spine is filled with chills
but love I did and trust I lost
this man, he broke my heart
he took the hope and snapped my mind
how am I to restart?
I pray to all the gods
please grind this rock to sand
I'll do all salty waters
I'll travel all the lands
I need this rock to crumble
and sediment to dust
and exit all my spirits soon
so I can return to trust
and hope will follow trust
and love will follow hope
and slowly they will spin a thread
that makes my safety rope
and once I'm safe and settled
in gut and heart and mind
my flight and fight will flow
and leave the rock behind.
- cut me lose -