half a grenade it was
pink in colour and small in shape
I've been walking through thick honey all day
and thought that laughter was never farther
from my lips
and freedom was taken from my lungs
clenched by memory
you're a stone
you take the crown from all assholes that ever crossed my path
my path that loves life, loves laughter
and I have met many assholes
that thought being nice equals kindness
go to a dance with old friends
that hold you tight and tell you you're safe
when suddenly the dance is easier
and the music runs through your veins
they say all is good, all is good
but you look around and all you can see
is a crowd of sad people, that need this dance
to feel alive
and all you want is be home, held close
you don't want to need this
it's the loudest, most freeing laughter that escapes
followed by the clearest, most honest tears
our skins touch in this vast ocean
all connected yet all alone
in which kindness is the only key
to survive and heal from this experience
but you can't give any kindness
and this little grenade, all it does
is take away the pain for a few hours
allow to live the vastness of my heart
I don't know if I can forgive you
but I need to forget you
so please lobotomise me
take away this memory that made me feel so loved
wash away every molecule that carries your scent
remove every sweetness that came from your tongue
there's no honour in you
no clarity, no courage
there's no path in you
no creativity, no love
for you is the one that denied all the beauty
of learning together, of loving each other
rejecting a heart that was accepting of your flaws
feeling privileged to witness
your growth, your decay
Be careful what you wish for
and I hope your wish will be granted
and the song of solitude is the only one you'll know
from now until forever
for people to see far quicker than me
your true self
And I hope you writhe in your shame
when clarity comes back to you
when the place next to you is empty and cold
and you realise
it is not the bed
it is you.
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