a scratchy voice is still a voice

It's hard to ignore the knot, which cuts the air, threatens words

but now it seems the time has come, my time to speak has come.

They all formulate so beautifully, on their signs and on their blogs

but I have sitten silently, neglecting and pushing away the thoughts.

I found excuses and apologies for them - and thought I was too drunk

I said they stole my body, but in my head I thought I'm strong

and when they reached for me and whispered, charming little spouts

praising all my features, pressing body, breath is loud

and told me first I'm frigid, little tease, a slutty saint

my shame can't match a torture, since I had never screamed

they might call this a conquer, but in truth they only claimed

a body that gave no response, a body stiff in feint.

The knowledge of your names had numbed by tongue and wit

Fuck I have been raped, I might not give a shit

I just take the pill and choke on it, nobody has to know

They said I was all flirty, maybe it was indeed my fault

They robbed me of my childhood, I thought I could control

And now that I’m much older, I see they’ve crushed my soul.

Barely this word rises, but joins the rising force

I might just add a word or two, and open here my doors

You know I am a joker, but this here is a scar

it reached so far and cut so deep it nearly broke my heart

with shaking wit and trembling heart, hear this voice of mine

scratchy is the sound it makes, when saying I am fine.