I know a sorry doesn't change
what has been done or has been said
yet here I am, in thought, in cringe
and I send a spell to y'all, memories
forgive, forgive, forgive.
I know I have been unkind
and have spoken just to cause hurt
thrown tantrums when a NO was the answer
to a question I have asked
insulting, insensitive, inquisitive.
And in good intention I labelled
a world, to make it a better place
thought of myself as free, as simple
and now I see, I was an ass.
To all my loved ones, and who were once loved
to those I shrugged off in arrogance
to the ones who ran, the ones who stayed, the ones who lingered
my eternal love, my gratitude
my realisation is for you.
I am not as smart as I thought I was
and not as good or brave or light
I am not the seed of a shining star
a lover, a friend, a passenger
so much to learn, too much to do.
This here is just a thought
but it comes and goes on every day
when I read the news, when I speak to them
my friends, my peers, my loved ones
and I look at them and see them grow
I see them rise within themselves
and I wonder which turn I've missed
that so many regrets seem to have grown instead
who am I now?
"Don't look while I am fixing"
no longer works
help me growing
give me a word, a fix, a pep you name it
your time, your care, your thought
are valued now and ever
I thought I'd grow alone
but I just need a little help from my friends.