coxswainless pair oars

I found myself in water, the drowning dead was near

my demons came and exposed the night, the night I so much fear

no witness to my torture, no helping hand in sight

just the moon and sun and stars - bare witness to my fight.

To fight an inner demon, is a clean and proper strive

They give you two fair options, one is called surrender, the other one is life

All bones inside were broken, and hope a distant glow

and then my witness' called me, you must go with the flow.

A demon can't be fought, it only needs a face-

a name, a tag, a shape, a grasp - an understanding place.

I took my demons forces, and turned them upside down,

I made them boat, to float the sea, and never let me drown.

Look at me, I'm aging, but this mollusc bides in dream

to find myself a warrior is the ever losing theme.

My armour here is polished, the weapon's on the hand!

but as I turn and see my boat, I see the ship's unmanned.

Oh captain, which captain? the steering wheel is mine!

barbarous was the sea, the wind was blowing fine

I fly the flags and hoist the sails and sing a sailor's song

In solitude no ears can hear when the tune I sing is wrong

Sometimes the boat is weaker, and leaks a wave or two

t'is was the time when haven sought, and thought that it was you

you liked my boat, the tune I sang and the beauty of my sails

yet, how could you know, that all of this was made by my passed wails?

I found you as my friend, reluctant at the start

but opened myself vulnerable and offered you my heart

gullable, is what they say, and soft as butter, too

honesty clings to me, as I have clung to you

now the haven is behind, and open sea ahead

this little thought here is for you and what we now have shed

but friend, you were no warrior, no armour suits you well

in tranquil heart you seek to live, conceal the demon's knell.

The rocking sea's my mother, and calms my thoughts and songs

it fills my heart with bliss and joy, when for another't longs

I might be my boats captain, but coxwainless's this ship

and on and on until it finds a steerman that might fit.